Posted by: Chelsea Novak | January 28, 2008

Douché Facebook!

So I’m editing my profile on Facebook, keeping things up to date, removing an inside joke religious belief and I see that there’s now a field where I can add a former name. This name doesn’t show up in my profile, but it adds it to the search, so people who’d been looking for Chelsea Gay, would then be directed to Chelsea Novak. Brilliant.

But hold up. I type in my maiden name, try to save it and I get this message from Facebook:

Our automated system will not approve this name. If you believe this is an error, please contact us.

I’m sorry. You don’t will not approve my name? Mocking is one thing, but complete and total invalidation!?!? Maybe it’s because it’s been 16 months since I changed my name and I’ve lost all the patience I had to develop over the years, but I am SO angry about this. I just unleashed a string of expletives so long I ran out of breath.

And, oh yes, I contacted them. I may have, in three short paragraphs let loose all the anger I’ve felt about people mocking, and worse yet, not ACCEPTING my name. Yep. 29 years (and an additional 15 minutes) of rage in three paragraphs. Unfortunately, I didn’t copy the complaint I submitted. The gist was that if they were doing what I think they’re doing, and that is automatically filtering out the name Gay then they have, as Gawker media puts it so elegantly, out douched themselves. Douché!

I feel the Gawker reference only fitting since they were the first ones to reject my very existence based on my name.

Some searching on Facebook has shown that a lot of other people are getting invalidated as well. And I love that there are other people on Facebook actually named Chelsea Gay. Where does Facebook get off not approving my name? Both first and last names are valid names and I can assure you that for 29 of 31 of my years on this earth, they were a valid name when used in combination. .

I’ll be curious to see what kind of response I get back from them and what solutions they offer me. And my response and solutions, I mean dead silence. Jerks.




  1. That’s it. We’re saddling up the pain pony and laying the hurt on those social networking bastards.

  2. I also sent a little nastygram.
    They didn’t like the surname Siren.
    It’s from Finland.
    It’s not our fault.

    I did create an account under the name Tilley.
    Hey, that’s progress, but the name is not Tilley. That’s the husband’s name 🙂

    I want to change that to Siren.
    Is “siren” a bad word?
    I’ve never been told to siren off, or to shove it up my siren, or to go to siren.

    Of course we have read and agreed to the terms of use.
    All 6413 words of it.

    Have you any idea how much of people’s time this kind of crap wastes???

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