Posted by: Chelsea Novak | January 16, 2008

Sunlight in the land of shadow

I’ve been saying for days that it feels like I’m waking up in Mordor each morning. Yes, there’s less of the barren wasteland, riddled with fire and ash and dust, the very air you breathe is a poisonous fume situation, but the unrelenting darkness and cloudy skies of late really make for a passable comparison.

I’m holding my own in the battle thus far. I still feel like always I’m on the verge of tears, but don’t really manage to cry. I’m functional. Happy, hard to say. But functional. I know where the boundaries like for being in serious trouble and so far, I am not there.

And there is hope. Like this morning, when I got up and looked out the window, I could see sunlight. Yes it was still creeping it’s way up from the east, but it was sunlight, not just a lighter shade of grey. And I found it easier to breathe. It’s so strange, but it helped so much.

On the drive into work, making my way east down Lakeshore, I didn’t even put down the sun visor in the car as I didn’t want to loose sight of the light. It was worth squinting for. I didn’t want to turn north, but eventually I had to. I walked around the street in the cold for ten minutes before going into my office building too, afraid that it would get cloudy at lunch (and it has).

I feel so improved by that little bit of sunlight that I might just start watching the weather radar to see where the clouds aren’t this weekend and be a sun hunter.




  1. Cue polka dot door analogy:

    “Sunlight was here? And I missed it again?!?”

    I think this explains why I haven’t been able to get out of bed without invoking the threat of losing my job for the entire week.

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