Posted by: Chelsea Novak | November 30, 2005

Something I Can Never Have

Back in September, I was fawning over a pair of stretch cord jeans I saw in the Land’s End catalogue and I didn’t buy them. Yes, I get the Land’s End catalogue and I’ve gotten many good things from them, namely bathing suits for the very, very long torsoed and the softest, warmest, most-puffiest blue parka ever, so stop judging me.

Anyway, I wanted these cords in lake blue, but at the potential time of ordering thought that something like walnut would ultimately be more practical. So the walnut ones are backordered until November and I say “Meh, I’m sure I’ll find stretch cords before November,” and opted not to backorder.

Here we are at the end of November and my cord search has been far less than fruitful. There were attempts made, one of which witnessed by Tash at a Jacob Connection, where she was kind enough not to giggle hysterically at me in what looked like high-water pants. No cords for me there sir. No sir indeedy.

I’ve admitted defeat and I returned to Land’s End today. The people sympathetic to body types small are large, short and long. And I opted to follow my initial attraction to the lake blue cords and I am betrayed.

“We’re sorry, this item is no longer available.”

Now don’t be confused. It’s not that the cords aren’t available at all. You can still get them in all kinds of other colours… just not in lake blue, dark chartreuse or true navy. I’ll be honest here, I was going nowhere near the chartreuse or the navy, but why did my beloved lake blue have to go away? I blame the photo. It’s a good photo. Makes you want to don a chestnut coloured sweater, walk in the country and be one of those natural beauties.

It’s entirely possible that I am far too susceptible to the persuasive powers of advertising.

I also blame the other tall girls for getting there first, and I admit that I’m totally in the wrong with this blame, but that’s not going to stop me. It never has before. These pants are totally available in the “short people” sizes, but again, being tall has bitten me in the ass. I guess I used all my size karma up with those boots this weekend.

I am saddened by this, but I am going to re-frame it. I have saved money, and that is always a wonderful things. Also, this could be the universe’s way of telling me that buying pants on the Internet is just a plain bad idea. I may have completely dodged a bullet on that one.

Today’s sing-a-long song: “Corduroy” by Pearl Jam




  1. I hear you, Chel. I’m going through my own personal hell because I need new jeans, but the only nice stretchy ones I like that come in a 36 inseam AND a small waist are Mavi, which cost 100 bones a pair. Ouch.

  2. The Gap had stretch cords for sale this fall — their ads promoted the new “straight”, “regular” or “curvy” fits (yay curvy!), but I think they also come in ankle, regular, or long lengths.

    On the bright side, at least neither of us is a “regular-regular” at the Gap. Because I think that would be the Platonic ideal of retail averageness, and that just sounds like a horrible label to have to live with.

  3. Have you thought about trying Anthropologie?

  4. Anthropologie is not in Canada. I wish it were, and probably Chelsea does, too.

  5. Hmmm, true, but I thought Land’s End didn’t have any retail outlets in Canada either and the context was catalogue or internet order anyway… so was the idea… but apparently not such a good one. doesn’t matter, was just a thought.

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