Posted by: Chelsea Novak | September 16, 2005

A Canadian, an American and an Australian walk into an audition…

I don’t know if I’m ashamed to say this or not, but I’ve just been so into Rockstar:INXS this summer. I didn’t mention it before because a certain Australian friend of mine forbid me to mention it from the moment I told him I’d seen the show. I wasn’t even allowed to call it by name. As the finale is next Tuesday, I’ve had to stop being so sensitive to Christopher’s unexplained issues and speak openly of my affection for this show.

Not only is it the one of the most brilliant marketing ideas I’ve seen a band employ, it’s also been really entertaining television. I can only handle reality TV when it’s some sort of singing and dancing competition, hence my affection for cheese-fests like American Idol and Dancing with the Stars. There’s no fighting, no timed home-reno and no one eating bugs. Just singing and dancing. Exactly that I’m looking for when I’m trying to unplug from the world.

The entertainment offered from Rockstar:INXS has existed on many levels. First, and most obviously, the singing competition. If there’s one thing I enjoy it’s being an armchair performance critic. I’m musically trained, generally bitter and full of my own unfufilled dreams. I think that qualifies me as a perfect for that task. There have been many opportunities to extoll the virtues of some really great performances and at the same time, chances to let the venom run free.

Second, I’ve had the chance, twice a week for the past 11 weeks, to watch in horror as possibly one of the most attractive women known to humanity find deeper and more grotesque levels of clothing retardation. When you have a perfect figure, why cover it in all the cast-offs of failed music careers long past? Why Brooke, Why?

Lastly, I’ve been able to go on a little nostalgia trip to my pre-teen years. Where Andrea and I would spend all day listening to Kick and discuss her all encompassing crush on Michael Hutchence. It even compelled me to purchase a Greatest Hits CD. Further proving the brilliance of this marketing scheme.

Do I think any of Marty, Mig or JD have the ability to rekindle what INXS had before we were all reminded of why auto-erotic-asphyxiation is not something you should be trying at home? I don’t know. I think Mig is perfect for the job, but maybe too perfect and too nice. JD has the right sound and the right look, but he’s also established that he’s can be awfully immature (something I’m sure Mark Burnett was pretty delighted to see). Marty. Marty doesn’t have the right look and doesn’t have the right sound. Yes, Trees is a catchy tune and he’s got the right attitude, but the screaming is just way too much for me… and the fact that he looks like a weasel.

In terms of my reality TV score card for this year I’m at 1-1. Carrie won American Idol (as I’d predicted) but Kelly Monaco “won” Dancing with the Stars. My pick for Rockstar:INXS has been Mig pretty much all along. We’ll see how it all balances out on Tuesday.

Today’s sing-a-long song: “Good Times” By INXS with Jimmy Barnes




  1. Chelsea, Oscar’s going to come back and haunt you if you make disparaging comments about the weasel family!

  2. I don’t know… It just seems like dancing on Michael Hutchence’s grave to me. But then, I haven’t been watching.

    Even if you remove that element of it, I don’t know how they can get away with talking about whether or not the band can recapture their old glory with a new singer, since their original singer was the person who drove the band and, up until now, the only member that the average person could probably even name.

    That said, I’m totally happy to make this one of our musical “agree to disagree” moments. It’s just that I was listening to “Need You Tonight” today, and… Well, how could anybody else live up to that?

  3. I don’t think that anyone could measure up to Hutchence in terms of talent or charisma.

    Still makes for entertaining TV.

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