Posted by: Chelsea Novak | September 13, 2005

This is going to be strange

Just to warn you all, this is going to be one of those really open-and-possibly-more-information-than-you-want-to-know kind of posts, but you’re going to have to deal, cause I need to talk about this.

In a matter of weeks, I will go going off the pill for the first time in fifteen years. Before all you baby-crazy people get all hepped-up and annoying, I am not doing this to try and get pregnant. In fact, like always, a good deal of thinking is still going into contraception. A good, good, heart-stopping, libido-killing deal.

No, I’m going off the pill upon the advice of my doctor for a little while so that I don’t do any kind of long term damage to my body since I’ve been messing with the natural order of things for a very long time. Just for a few months, then I can go back on. Makes sense to be on the safe side of things, but oh my god the idea of not being on the pill is really unfathomable to me.

I just don’t understand how things are done when you’re not on the pill.

I went on the pill really young as it was requirement of going on Accutane. Things were so keen and easy when I was on it that I just stayed on. The whole contraception thing was really secondary. Of course that came in awfully handy at times. I’ve never really had any trouble with it and the pill has been nothing but good to me. Clock-setting regularity, milder PMS and cramps, not being pregnant. Win, win and win.

And now I have to let that go for bit. Wow that’s scary. That fear is just the tip of the iceberg. I have NO IDEA of what I’m like off the pill. I could be bat-shit crazy… or I could be totally sane. I could lose weight (score) or gain weight (boo). I could have my period every day of the week. Did I mention the bat-shit crazy part? What if my personality changes with the change in hormones and I’m an awful, awful person and everyone decides that they hate the non-chemically altered me?

And then there’s the reality that no other kind of contraception is as effective as the pill. When taken properly the pill is 99 per cent effective. Condoms, 96 per cent. That’s a whole baby-making three per cent I am just not okay with. Sorry Mum, but I have to say this out loud, abstaining from sex for 3 to 4 months is just not an option. Of course if my fears come true and me off the pill is a bigger jerk than me on the pill then it won’t really be an issue of abstinence now will it.

On the other hand, maybe I’ll be less paranoid.

Today’s sing-a-long song: “Just like a pill” by Pink




  1. Chelsea, you and I should have a chat…I might have some info that can help you…I have been there! Jenn O.

  2. hmmm…and my docs been telling me that 10 years on the pill is no big deal…may have to have a new chat with her about this one.

  3. My doctor told me that it was the fact that it had been 15 years that warranted the break. You may have five more years of freedom at your disposal.

    Still I imagine it’s a good converstaion to have.

  4. hmmm, indeed. I have been on the pill for 14 years (and it’s been win, win, win for me as well) and while I have had a few (male) doctors in recent years (as I approach the big 3-0) start to get antsy about it and imply a ‘break’ might be necessary, every single female doctor I have ever spoken to about it has told me ‘stay on or get off and stay off, but the worst thing you can do is go back and forth’… and this includes female doctors at the Bay Centre in TO (who I trust perhaps more than others, simply on account of the fact that they work specifically in the area of sexual health as opposed to being joe-average GPs). I would get a second opinion if I were you. If it ain’t broke…

  5. Thanks for the suggestion. It’s always good to question and weigh your options. FYI my doctor is female.

  6. Funny, the first thing i’d worry about would be what it would do to my skin! (i’m on the pill to regulate my horrible hormones–ergo skin problems–primarily.) I recommend a combo pack of contraception: foam+condom type of thing to make you feel more secure. Or use this as an opportunity to let your inner porn skank come to the surface. i’m not going to write any more than that on the chance of offending anyone. 🙂

  7. Too late! 🙂

    Seriously though, you must have failed sex-ed if you think that’s actually any kind of way to prevent pregnancy, my dear.

    Jury is still out on whether or not I’m actually going to do this. Second, third and fourth opinions are currently being sought.

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