New smaller waist…Same huge feet

I need shoes.

This doesn’t make me any different from women all over the world. Like plants need sunlight, women need shoes. I need shoes beyond that primal lust that females feel walking past a window of pretty foot oriented bedazzlements. I need shoes because I have worn most of my shoes into the ground. I even have a modest sum of money set aside for this new footwear. Something for summer, something professional-ish, but still fun for a 28-year-old… Something that isn’t totally ridiculous. A modest, yet stable heel… Something I can walk in, but that doesn’t look too sensible. Am I asking for too much?

Not really. In fact I’ve found this shoe a couple of times now. I’ve held it in my (huge) hand and held my breath as I approached a salesperson to ask for my size, closed my eyes as I wait for the inevitable bad news…”No. We don’t carry this shoe in your size.”… “11? Are you kidding me?”… “Does it say Saskwatch Shoes on the sign out front?”

There are a few negative things about being the size that I am and I have made peace with most of it. There are so many positives. That said, I will never be able to buy cute hats because of my enormous head. I will never be a ballerina because they don’t make ballet partners big enough to lift someone just shy of six feet tall. The same goes for swing dancing. But the shoe thing… It’s just irritating. I have a couple of female friends who are taller than I am, with smaller feet! (Though I guess we all achieve a karmic balance when shopping for pants)

There must be a place in the world where big footed women like myself can shop without sadness. Where strappy sandals and pretty pumps flow from the shoe shops like milk and honey. It’s a place where everyone is tall and they walk quickly. The streets are level and well maintained too.

Heaven in a place where every shoe is in stock, in your size and 50 per cent off.

Today’s sing-a-long song: “The Other Shoe” by Eels

HRH