Posted by: Chelsea Novak | January 18, 2005

What’s a Magneto?

After playing Tetris Worlds for about 2 hours straight on my Gameboy Advance last night I put down the game and commented quietly “My thumbs hurt.” Yesterday was a bad day for my psyche. I woke up haze of self loathing that really found its peak in the evening. This manifested itself in many fits of tears, all of which were deftly managed by my beloved. Now it may be that the thumbs comment was the only thing I said last night that wasn’t motivated by my weepy mood, because M really went with it.

“Ahhh, but soon your thumbs will be mighty. Soon you will be able to vanquish your foes, with only your thumbs. Small tribes of people will come and worship at your thumbs, for they will be great.”

This all got me thinking about mutations. Like what if my mutant gift was really big and/or powerful thumbs. How much would that suck. Or what if you were the mutant who could just grow their hair really fast. Interesting, yes. A useful tool in the battle against evil? No. All the of X-Men have really cool mutant powers, can you imagine what it would be like to be a mutant and to have a lame power. A total double whammy of suckage. So much rejection.

Thankfully, my mutant powers have nothing to do with my thumbs…

Today’s sing-a-long song: “The Radiation Song” by The Mutants




  1. My ex Mike used to say that my power would be that my tongue would be a strip of razor wire that would unfurl from my mouth and rip my enemies to shreds. His sister and my best friend Sally’s ass (which has a way of knocking in to tables and spilling\breaking things) would be a spinning top that could detatch and fly around the room causing destruction and general havoc. His ex-wife/my ex-roomate quite possible the pokiest person to crawl the earth, would simply be able to stop time. Forget the Trio from Buffy, we’re the 3 to watch for.

  2. Sissy Hankshaw Gitch from Tom Robbins’s Even Cowgirls Get the Bluse has enormous — and magical — thumbs.

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