Posted by: Chelsea Novak | January 10, 2003

Finally a reason to procreate

I don’t like children. Like, really don’t like children. While most people see these cute and endearing creatures working their way towards adulthood, oohing and aahing at every jump, giggle and gurgle, I see short, tactless people who can’t go to the bathroom by themselves. I’m not sure why I dislike them, as I’ve noticed that it goes pretty strongly against the grain of society to honestly dislike kids. But the fact remains that kids fail to impress me.

With this knowledge of my distain in hand, I decided a couple of years ago that I do not want to have children. I find the whole idea of pregnancy terrifying, am too selfish to consider making the sacrifice that is good parenting and am pretty sure that I’d be a dreadfully oppressive parent. Sure the idea of choosing a name and shopping for the little one seems like fun, but that’s really not remotely representative of what being a parent is. So my dna will not be passed on. It’s not like there’s a lack of people in the world. I respect and am awed by people who have kids. I’m amazed at what they do and believe that they are ultimately better suited to it than I am. So props to them.

While M is currently with me on the no kids boat, he (and many others, most of whom are women) is suprised at my certainty in this issue. Sure I’ve heard the clock tick from time to time, but I’ve always been able to reason myself out of it. I’ve always been able to find piles more reasons not to have kids than reasons to. However, last night I saw something that made me think “Hey, if I had a child, I could buy them something as cool as this. Yep, that’s my reasoning. Have kids so you can shop for them. I’d be a horrible mother, but I damn cool eccentric Aunt.



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