Posted by: Chelsea Novak | November 28, 2002

Dare to dream

I’m having an epiphany. For awhile now it seems, so I guess it’s more like a slow realization. I know what I want to do. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for many years, but always put it back in my head like it was never really an option, because I was always told “You’re too smart for that.” The fact is, if you want to do something well and be the best at it, you really can’t be smart enough.

Just before I went to University I had a talk with my mother. I was very reluctant to go. I didn’t really see myself as the type of academia. She told me that if I hated University, I could leave and go to college and pursue this other thing I was interested in. I had a lot of performance anxiety and I guess because I’ve been insecure about my brains I’d always thought that my other ambition was just running away. It’s 8 years later, and I’m still interested.

Wondering what I want to be? A make-up artist/beautician. Not so shocking when you look at what gets me really excited. So I’m starting to think that when I move to an English speaking country again, I’m going to go for it. I’m going to go to beauty school. There are piles of options from there. My own salon (to dream!), or working as a make-up artist and actually incorporating some of what I learned in film school. The more I think about it, the more it excites me. It’s not like one of those ambitions I’ve had where I think I want to be something because it sounds respectable or impressive. It’s a career that puts all the things I like together and hopefully my own business. A job where I get to be social, use my brain to be the best at it and help people look like they feel they should look. Which is beautiful.

Time to start saving. I want to go back to school.



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