Posted by: Chelsea Novak | October 30, 2002

I’m never alone up here

::Things that run through my head while I’m getting a massage::

“I didn’t know the Dali Lama has such a low voice. Dude, that guy can sing.”

“Is it wrong that I’m finding the Buddhist chanting of the Dali Lama really soothing and comforting?”

“They’re nice sounds. It doesn’t mean you’ve become a mystic. Relax.”

“Phew.”

“If I suddenly had to leave the country tomorrow, would I be able to remember everything”…followed by a quick take or leave inventory of everything in the apartment

“Yes”

“I didn’t know that having your shoulder rubbed could be so painful and soothing at the same time.”

“Would my masseuse understand, given the language barrier, or be uncomfortable with the fact that one of my most sensitive erogenous zones is on my back?”

“Best not to think about that.”

“Am I an awful person for being so insensitive to Tony and Greg in high school and running over their feelings with the steam roller that was adolescent me?”

“Isn’t it true that everyone ends up hurting someone else’s feelings in the course of their life?”

“I’ve been steam rolled.”

“Okay, the Karmic debt has been paid. And I don’t even hate the people who steam rolled my feelings.”

“Why do boys take having their feelings hurt so much harder than girls do?”

“Don’t go there.”

“Isn’t wasting time thinking about how you hurt someone, knowing full well that you wouldn’t do a thing differently if you were making those choices again, kind of circular and pointless? Wouldn’t that be the same as telling the people who hold irrational grudges against you that they are now just in their pettiness?”

“Right. Chilling out now.”

“I wonder if my masseuse thinks I’m fat?”

“I’m sure she performs massage of some seriously fat people and doesn’t blink an eye. She’s a pro. And I’m not fat.”

“I hope having my hair cut will relieve some of the stress on my neck. Hopefully the neck work won’t hurt as much this time.”

“Ow. Guess not.”

“Do I have enough cash on me to go to Joshua Tree for lunch and have that great spinach salad AND have enough money to pick up some groceries.”

Math

“Yes. Chow down.”

“What the hell am I going to get M for Christmas? He’s already bought one part of my present and I’ve got nothing. Not even a list or a plan.”

“Don’t get him something that you’re not going to be able to live with yourself.”

“So then monkey is off the list.”

“It’s really nice in here.”

HRH

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