Posted by: Chelsea Novak | October 4, 2002

If you want my body and you think I’m sexy…

I woke up with the REVCO version of that song in my head today….just a little bit strange. Anywho, getting Corey in the “Which Emprie Records character are you?” quiz got me thinking about the old days at HMV. I never threw myself at a rock star. I’ve never slept with anyone who’s a rock star (maybe with a couple who fancied themselves a rock start in their own mind, but that’s another blog). I’ve never done speed. All I did was wear mini-kilts and boots. I was cute too.

While I never got to be a starf*cker, I did have several epic infatuations over the years. Let me see if I can remember them all. It began when I was in grade 6 I think. Yes, the keyboardist from Glass Tiger (I was like 10!). I think his name was Sam… Anyway, then there was Donnie Wahlberg (sp?) from the New Kids. That was was pretty instense for a 12 year old. My sister has a photo of me in my room, which was basically a shrine (no surface left uncovered). I think she’s holding onto it for blackmail purposes.

Anyway, I hit my teens and shed the teeny-bopper crapulence. As I teen I lusted for Zac Foley of EMF (he played bass), various basketball players (?), Scott Weiland (just before all the heroin problems)… wow I’m having trouble remembering them now. My infatuations work in a way that when I’m “over” someone, I generally wash their memory out of my brain. Unless I have physical evidence (like the blackmail photo, CDs or videos). Oh yeah, for most of grade 9 and 10, I was totally in love with Dana Ashbrook who played Bobby Briggs on Twin Peaks.

As I got older, the fascinations got stranger. This brings us up to my obsession with Gavin Rossdale of Bush. It lasted for about a year (the same year I was pretty much nutters, coincidence?). I thought he was just the greatest thing since sliced bread. I even dated someone with a vauge physical resemblence to him (the shame), which was otherwise I pretty huge disaster (man, am I ever lame). I loved the music, thought he was just so deep and thoughtful. Isn’t amazing what you can warp in your mind when you’re infatuated. I ended up meeting him once. At an In Store I was working at, and it was a deflating experience, which I suppose I can’t begrudge him for. Besides, my “Rex Manning” got married a couple of weeks ago to the very cool Gwen Stefani, so he can’t be all bad.

The experience did put me off every wanting to meet someone I’d admired from afar. There’s no way they can ever possibly measure up to your expectations. Except for maybe Tori. M assures me that she wouldn’t dissappoint. I almost “met” her. M and I went to the meet and greet at the Toronto show in 1999. I stood just behing thhe first row of people and watched. She was amazing, cool and totally Tori. She makes me believe that sometimes people you admire without meeting are worthy of it.

Anyway, as I’ve gotten older, the infatuations have lessened. There were brief interludes of interest in personalities that have since escaped my memory, though I’m sure I adored them will all my heart at the time. I still have silly things like “the list” and sometimes I hear music that makes me think “I could love the person who created this beauty.” But it’s not love, it’s admiration. When you’re young and finding yourself, you mix those things up and when you find out that the person you “love” is human after all. It can be a heartbreaking experience for reality-challenged dreamers like me.

Moral of today’s story: Real people are always better.



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