Posted by: Chelsea Novak | October 2, 2002

I’m cured?

Having read Mike’s and Kari’s post from yesterday about doughnuts, I thought I was going to fall into a horrible pit of craving and longing for a chocolate dipped. I sat at my desk, clutching the sides of it, waiting for the waves of pain to rush through my body and nothing happened. I read their posts again. Maybe I fell and dislodged some of my wiring, but again, no craving. No ache in my belly, no salavating taste buds, nothing. But I’d spoken too soon, there was something. A little voice inside spoke out from the depths of my psyche and said a plain little “Ew.”

I was puzzeled, disoriented. Had my diet taken over my brain? It wasn’t the “Ew” of “you’ll get fat from that”, but the “Ew” of “why the hell would you want to eat that.” Were all my cravings turning on me? Thankfully no. I took a moment to ponder my favourite foods I can’t eat and BLAMMO there were the cravings. I could almost taste the evil mixture of french fries, gravy and cheese that is poutine (something I haven’t eaten since August of 2001) and I could hear the bags of Salt and Vinegar chips at Tesco calling my name. “Chelsea! Chelsea! Everything will be better once you have a couple chips. Think of all that salty goodness.”

That was when I discovered what my real diet enemy is. I’m not so much a chocolate person, and I can only take sweet if it’s mixed with a hearty does of sour. My albratros is my unending, mind-bending, need for salt. I would drink soy sauce if I didn’t make me feel like a dried up lizard. Salt and a lithe frame do not make good bedfellows. Even worse when loaded on some starchy, fried thing. I thought I was saved from it all by living here… where there are no salt and vinegar chips or poutine. Once I swore of fried cheese, everything looked okay. Then about a month ago, Tesco introduced S&Vs. It’s a weekly battle when I pass the chip ailse. Which is more important? The craving of my body or my desire to look a certain way. Usually we reach a comprimise. S&Vs are available in small little single portion bags (as I would eat the entire bag, regardless of the size) so I buy two for the week and then eat those two that same night (like I did on Monday). It’s my crime. That and movie candy… which I had twice last week.

It’s never easy. Really if I’m going to restrict what I eat, I should just do so and shut up about it. No? Consider it done.



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