Posted by: Chelsea Novak | July 25, 2002

Just imagine you’re a speck of dust

After reading about M’s blogger cult and using Andrew’s links to see what former Queen’s-ite Tara Mansbridge is up to via her blog, I realized that this blogger thing is big. Like really big. Like there are millions of blogs out there and mine is just a drop in a huge pool of blogginess. I get all sulky when I suddenly feel insignificant.

Reading Kari’s blog about weddings made me think about the upcoming nuptuals of my University roommate Heather. I’m going back to Canada on Tuesday for her wedding on the 3rd. I have the wedding present (it’s very cool, but I’m smart enough not to write what it is, since you never know who’s reading), I have a dress to wear, shoes, no purse yet, no date (It makes very little sense for M to come back to Canada in the summer since his whole family is in Prague during the summer months) and, no bitterness. I can say quite happily that I am not ready to be married. I’m very happy for Heather and Mark and the adventure they’re starting on. I’m even happy for my two highschool girlfriends who got married the summer I moved to Prague (not to each other, but to guys I’ve never really met) and I’m happy for my two ex-boyfriends who got married (again, not to each other) last fall. That’s great for them. But not me. I like where I am. I know I’ll grow into a place where I’ll be ready, but not now. Being aware of that makes going to other people’s weddings much more enjoyable.

I think Heather’s is going to be a big to do wedding as well. It’s funny. As a girl you think you have every detail of your wedding sorted out in your head. The funny thing is in recent years, as I’ve come closer and closer to a time when marriage is more possible, I know less of what I want to do. I think that’s part of the understanding I was talking about above. The details are something I’ll deal with when I get there. I think you reach a point in your life when you realize that it’s the celebration of the relationship that’s important, not the roses, caviar and taffeta dresses.

Of course, whenever I do get married, count on it being a class affiar… big or small.



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