Posted by: Chelsea Novak | July 20, 2002

Why can’t I be paid for this skill?

Lumping me in the fat-couch-potato-slackers all over the world, I just played a bunch of online Star Wars games where my near perfect scores set off alarm bells in my head. Shouldn’t I be using the resources of my brain for more important things? Clearly not. The world needs more nerds like me, who think in black and white principles who are eager to do great deeds (at least in their heads) and romanticize every facet of life. Wouldn’t the world be more exciting that way?

I was informed by most of my dining companions last night that I am an idealist. It was said in this “oh, isn’t that sweet. She hasn’t given in yet… but it will come.” God I hope not. I know I’m young and pretty simplistic, but I have to think that if I were to give up on my ideals and settle then I’m letting one of the best parts of me die. So friends, be advised, should the day come that I’ve settled or compromised, something serious and potentially grave has happened. People have said to me that life just tires you into giving in. I don’t want to become like that. One of those people who only seem to have half the lights on upstairs. Not because they’re dumb, but because they don’t want to see what they’ve given up on any more. Besides, giving up on your ideals is kind of like killing yourself slowly. I want to be an idealist to the end. I’ve seen some crap come down, maybe not as much as some people, but I’ve seen the darker nature of people and still I refuse to let it jade me. Sure I’m a misenthrope (I know, you should be able to spell a word before you apply it to yourself, my bad), but the few people I do like, I like because they are ideal to me.

And now I’m going to continue to dance to my new CD.



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